Elon Musk, Nazi Power Moves, and the Meltdown of Gay America

Anything that even vaguely hints at admiration for Nazis is treated like a national emergency. Elon Musk moved his hand slightly like Hitler, and the internet exploded. | Nazi Trends

Fouad FARJANI

1/23/2025

Why do Americans obsess over Nazis?

Seriously, anything that even vaguely hints at admiration for Nazis is treated like a national emergency. Elon Musk moved his hand slightly like Hitler, and the internet exploded.

So what? Maybe he got inspired! I mean, it’s not like Hitler trademarked hand gestures. Elon probably watched a documentary, saw Hitler flinging his arm around, and thought, "Wow, that’s a power move. Really captures the energy of telling everyone to shut up and follow orders. Maybe I’ll try that next time I fire half of Twitter."

Even the Jews are over that whole Nazi thing. Have you ever seen Israel at war with Germany? No, they’ve moved on. They’d rather fight their cousins in Palestine, the same folks who handed them water, hummus and Arabic bread when they stumbled ashore after the Holocaust.

It’s like showing up at someone’s house as a starving guest, eating their leftovers, taking over the couch, and then evicting them to the backyard. Sure, they’ve got their reasons — existential trauma, paranoia, a military budget bigger than their population, but one thing’s clear, they forgot Hitler. The guy’s so “been there, done that” that they don’t even bother hating Germany anymore.

Why waste energy on a figure as lethal as Hitler, plus the country has been apologizing for 80 years and now makes luxury sedans?

But then Elon lifts a hand, and suddenly, it’s DEFCON 1 in America. It’s like, relax, he’s not starting the Fourth Reich; he’s just… eccentric. If anything, it was probably his way of saying, "Don’t mess with me. I’m as untouchable as Hitler was in his heyday." The Space Jews get it. They don’t mess with Nazi symbolism because they know it’s like poking a hornet’s nest while covered in honey.

But America? Oh no, they’ve got to have a meltdown over every little thing.

And let’s talk about "Gay America." Not the LGBTQIA+ folks — respect to them — but the overly sensitive, perpetually offended, move-to-Canada-because-it’s-too-hard-here crowd. Every time something mildly uncomfortable happens, their instinct is, "That’s it! I’m moving to Canada!" Okay, Karen, enjoy the healthcare and maple syrup. But spoiler alert: Canada is just diet America with a colder climate and fewer guns. Give it a couple of decades, and it’ll probably end up as the 51st state anyway.

To be honest — like brutally honest, no filters, full send — Americans are starting to feel like a washed-up 50-year-old pussy trying to stay present. You know the type, spends too much on Botox, posts thirst traps on Instagram, and pretends to still be "with it."

Except the country is less Real Housewives and more…hmmm...I don’t know, Real Menopause. It’s that awkward phase where nothing works the way it used to, and no one really wants to talk about it.

And don’t get me started on the metaphorical hygiene. It’s like that one middle-aged aunt who gave up on grooming because, “Who’s looking at me, anyway?” You peek into the metaphorical underwear drawer of America, and it’s just chaos. Elastic that gave up years ago. Fabric that’s seen better decades.

And the smell? Let’s just say it’s not chewing gum-scented dreams. Sorry, bad metaphor. Let’s move on.

The point is, America needs to grow up. Stop throwing tantrums about every little thing, stop obsessing over Nazis like it’s still 1945, and maybe, focus on playing the game.

But no, America’s over here clutching its pearls like a Victorian grandmother, crying about how “the world is falling apart.” Guess what? It’s always been falling apart. The world’s basically one big Jenga tower built on a shaky table. Every empire, every civilization, every wannabe superpower eventually loses a few pieces, wobbles for a bit, and then crashes down into a pile of overpriced woodblocks.

And honestly, I don’t even blame Elon for his weird Hitler-adjacent hand gesture. The guy probably just wanted to spice things up. Imagine being that rich and still having to deal with people whining about you 24/7. You’d probably throw in a little chaos, too. Maybe next week, he’ll grow a tiny mustache and tweet, “Am I doing this right, Twitter?” just to see everyone implode. And let’s be real, most of the people outraged by his every move are doing it for likes and retweets. Outrage has become a national pastime in America — right up there with football and Black Friday brawls.

While Americans are busy dissecting Elon’s hand gestures like it’s a Zapruder film, the rest of the world is moving on. China’s building railways in Africa, Europe’s perfecting the art of passive-aggressive diplomacy, and Russia’s… well, being Russia. Meanwhile, America’s stuck in this endless loop of moral outrage, culture wars, and reality TV politics.

At some point, you’ve got to ask: What’s the endgame here?

Are we really going to cancel every billionaire who acts weird? Because if we are, let me tell you, the list is long, and the replacements aren’t exactly inspiring. Bezos looks like he moonlights as a Bond villain. Zuckerberg is basically a lizard in a hoodie. And don’t even get me started on Bill Gates — the man gives off big “Stepford Husband” energy.

After all, where else can you find a billionaire doing Hitler cosplay, a former president playing the world’s longest game of truth or dare, and an entire country debating whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza — all in the same week?

Like it or not, Trump and Elon are still your cards. Trump’s the Joker (obviously), and Elon? He’s the wildcard ace. You don’t fold before you’ve seen the flop just because the dealer sneezed funny.

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