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19 Jokes Based on Psychological Techniques & Tricks

That’s your crash course in psychological tricks, rebranded as comedy gems. Try them at your own risk, and definitely on someone else’s burrito. | Jokes for broke people.

Fouad FARJANI

1/14/2025

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  1. Never Start with “Could You…”
    Never start your request with "Could you..." because the other person might think you're asking hypothetically. Instead, say, "You will do this." It's not manipulation, it’s just how dictators get coffee in the morning.

  1. The Forehead Stare
    Wanna make someone uncomfortable? Just stare at the middle of their forehead during the conversation. Bonus points if you start nodding like you're inspecting a hidden third eye.

  1. The Power of the Pause
    If someone’s dodging your question, just pause, stare, and wait. It’s like when your mom asks, "Who broke the vase?" and all you can hear is the sound of your own guilt sweating.

  1. The Affirmative Nodding Trick
    Want someone to agree with you? Subtly nod while you speak. It’s how restaurant servers upsell you to dessert. “Would you like a slice of our chocolate cake?” nods intensely Next thing you know, you’re halfway through a $13 cake you didn’t even want.

  1. The Task Snatcher
    If someone is deep in concentration, you can take whatever they're holding just by extending your hand. That’s how my roommate lost a burrito mid-bite.

  1. Reverse Psychology Masterclass
    Tell someone they can’t do something, and they'll move mountains to prove you wrong. “Oh, you probably can’t eat an entire pizza by yourself.” Boom. Pizza’s gone. So are their pants’ elastic limits.

  1. The Disappointed Negotiator
    During negotiations, act slightly disappointed to get better conditions. It’s the adult version of saying, “Meeeh, I didn’t even want that toy,” while clutching it tighter.

  1. Morning Hype Alarm
    The next time your alarm clock goes off, sit up, make two fists, and yell, “Yeah!” It’s like scoring a goal in the World Cup—except your only victory is making it out of bed.

  1. Kill ’Em with Kindness
    When someone drags you into drama, hit them with a compliment. Nothing confuses an angry person like, “You know, you’re really glowing today!” Just don’t try this with your boss mid-performance review.

  1. Lazy Team Players
    Have a slow coworker? Don’t say, “Do this.” Instead, say, “Start with this.” It’s like tricking a toddler into eating vegetables. “Just take one bite,” and suddenly the broccoli’s gone.

  1. Subway Shoe Stare
    Someone staring at you on the subway? Stare back—at their shoes. Nothing screams “power move” like locking eyes with their Crocs until they fold.

  1. Gentle Accusations
    If someone messes up and you don’t want to sound accusing, re-frame the sentence. “Wow, the report isn’t done yet? That’s interesting!” translation: How are you still employed?

  1. The “I Slept Great” Trick
    Didn’t sleep well? Lie to yourself. Tell yourself you had the best sleep ever. Basically gaslight your own body into believing it’s refreshed. Works every time, until you collapse at 3 p.m.

  1. Memory Sandwich
    People remember the start and end of their day, but not the middle. That’s why you can crush a bag of chips at 2 p.m. and still convince yourself you’re on a diet.

  1. The Argument Shortcut
    If someone’s losing their cool, tell them, “Hey, you have beautiful energy when you’re angry.” It won’t fix the situation, but it will make it hilariously awkward.

  1. Subtle Nods = Jedi Mind Tricks
    Nodding while asking for something makes people more likely to agree. It’s basically a Jedi mind trick. “You will take out the trash.” Nods. If only it worked on my teenager.

  1. Shoe-gazing for the Win
    Someone glaring at you? Keep staring at their shoes until they feel self-conscious. Suddenly, they’re questioning their life choices, starting with their mismatched socks.

  1. The Burrito Snatch Test
    Want to know if someone’s truly focused? Try to grab their burrito while they’re on the phone. If they let it go, they’re in the zone. If they don’t, well…you’re losing that hand.

  1. The Mindset Overload
    In Morocco, people love chaos but miss it when they leave the country. So, if you’re surrounded by nonsense, just remember—some people choose this life. The trick is not to argue with them. Just stare at their shoes.

That’s your 19 courses course in psychological tricks, rebranded as comedy gems. Try them at your own risk. And definitely on someone else’s burrito.

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